The Ultimate Guide to Creating a Mary Sue
by serenaaa98
Summary: Dear Reader: Here is my guide to creating a Mary Sue! Hilarious! CAUTION: MAY RESULT IN MUSHINESS OF BRAIN


**A/N: So I was recently inspired to create this: The Ultimate Guide to Creating a Mary Sue. This is in no way to be taken seriously and is simply the result of extreme boredom and procrastination.**

**Enjoy! (And review. You have no idea how excited I was when I found my other stories got reviews!)**

**P.S. Almost forgot: I'm not continuing my Scorp/Rose story because I'm a lazy idiot and see no way of moving forward from where I left off. Also I can't be bothered ;) **

Dearest reader

Welcome to the Ultimate Guide to Creating a Mary Sue (Harry Potter edition)! I hope you find this guide informative and instructive.

Let's begin with a quick definition:

ma-ry-sue: An irritatingly perfect OC, often with long hair that flows no matter what the conditions in the weather are and are described using adjectives that are either out of context or non-existent. _Also see: _Ebony Way, Isabella Swan

Okay, now let's get started!

First up, I want you to think of the following things. I will put examples to help guide you.

A precious stone. _E.g. Emerald_

A time of day. _E.g. Sunset_

A colour that a kindergartener would never have heard of. _E.g. Fuchsia_

A flower. _E.g. Tulip_

A season. _E.g. Winter_

A direction. _E.g. South_

You, dear reader, may be wondering why I asked you to think of these seemingly random, pointless things. But the fact that they are random and pointless is exactly why you need them: all these things put together is the name of your Mary Sue! The name is one of the most important parts of the Sue. It must be long, and make no sense. It would also help to throw in an apostrophe somewhere in there.

Summary:

Random + Pointless + Apostrophe = Sue

In the end, your Sue's name should look something like this:

Emerald Sun'set Fuchsia Tulip Winter South

Now the next part ties in with Step Two: Appearance of the Sue. You need to make the name have some sort of value, whether it's sentimental value or something to do with what the Sue looks like.

_E.g. She has EMERALD green eyes, her hair is golden like the SUNSET, her..umm...dead mother's favourite colour was FUCHSIA, she...errr...smells like a TULIP, she was born in WINTER and she's from the SOUTH Pole. _

This brings us to the next stage in this quest to create the Sue: its appearance.

The Sue must be the most wonderfully attractively gorgeously...wonderful attractive gorgeous person in the entire world.

We've already established that her eyes are green and her hair blonde, and that's all that SHOULD be important, but when creating a Sue, you must milk every little detail.

_E.g. her long blonde hair glowed like the sunset as she flipped it over her shoulder with a graceful flick of her slim, soft hand, her gorgeous eyes twinkling like the finest of emeralds while flashing teeth as shiny and precious as pearls. _

See?

Summary:

Sue = beautiful

Unimportant details = important

Milking = good!

This last step is the most important step of all: the love life of the Sue. Since she is a Mary Sue, naturally all boys should fall deeply and irrevocably in love with them. So kinda like Bella Swan, only pretty! In every Mary Sue story is a love triangle/quadrangle/sept...upt...angle...? (or more). So the poor boys of the fandom will probably be reduced to emotional, sentimental, out of character idiots whenever the Sue is around. Frequent victims of this include Harry, Sirius, Draco, Snape, Voldy etc. Mary Sues always live happily ever after, though in my opinion they should all die painful deaths.

Summary:

Sue = irresistible

Boys = emotional, sentimental, out of character idiots

Love life = stupid and complicated

Happily ever after = compulsory

Painful death = even better!

So thank you all for reading my patented guide to creating a Mary Sue!

**A/N: I think I just lost what remaining sanity and brainpower I had left by writing that! Especially when I wrote that bit for the appearance (*shudders*)**


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